How to reward yourself with free flights by using your child's bad behaviour as an excuse to be flown around the country for two minute interviews

The other night I was watching the Ellen DeGeneres show for reasons that I cannot even think of, boredom for argument's sake, and one of her guests was a 7 year old boy. Usually her guests are actors, musicians, generally anyone 'note worthy' for trash-tv entertainment programmes such as TMZ and ET. There was something different about this boy; he did not have a special talent nor did he save his father from choking. How this kid got his 15 minutes of fame was by stealing his grandmother's car to avoid church.


As the interview progressed his father pointed out that his boy, Preston Scarborough, received a month-long grounding. Eventually DeGeneres gave them gifts: as shown above, an anti-car-theft device for Preston's father (which was admittedly humourous) and; a motorised toy car that Preston can drive around. The concept behind Preston's gift is similar to the image below, the only difference being his has a higher level of fanciness and, through all forms of assumption, it looked more expensive.


Punishments are naturally of a subjective nature. A particular judge's condemning will differ from another's. What method of punishment can Preston's parents utilise that is ethically responsible? Of course a grounding seems to be the only reasonable consequence; I, for one, surely cannot think of any arguably better way to handle the behaviour that caused this particular crime. However, flying to New York and Hollywood and allowing him to bask in this attention is not appropriate, is it? Is there something I am missing here? His parents accepted interviews with their local Utahan TV station, The Today Show, Ellen and undoubtedly other interviews. The reason, for why a parent would promote positive reinforcement upon a crime their cocky kid committed, is beyond me. He is meant to be grounded and thus I imagined this: 'Preston, no TV or video games for the next month but next week Paul De Leeuw is flying us to The Netherlands because he wants to interview you'!

To the Scarboroughs: sure, go to The Netherlands. While you are there buy some marijuana, leave a couple of cones on your hotel bedside table for Preston to steal and smoke. I am sure Oprah, David Letterman and Larry King have time to interview the world's youngest stoner.

NB: Preston Scarborough is not being flown to The Netherlands for an interview.